If you have recently lost a loved one, this can be a painful time and can be a process and a time of mourning for you and others that have lost this special person.
Many people in 2020 have seen the losses like never before. Many people have lost loved ones due to the pandemic and others have lost jobs or even relationships. Many people just lost the sense of feeling safe and stable and comfortable. Some people have experienced the grieving process of denial, anger, grief, and acceptance.
There is no real order when you are actually grieving but if you see that you are going through these steps, take time to grieve and to feel what you are feeling. Do not suppress your feelings and hide them because you feel ashamed. Take time to go through the stages and to feel your grief and your emotions. Mourning is there to help you to heal, and you need to do this so that you can get better and move on.
Grieving and Mourning
Mourning is a time where you are processing things more deeply. When you are grieving, you are sharing the pain that you are having with other people that are also at a loss. Mourning is a deeper thing and happens when you experience loss and grief happens earlier when the loss first comes.
When you mourn, you do these different ways. Some people will go and put flowers on their loved ones graves while others will wear only certain colors for a while and depending on your culture, there are activities and traditions that different people follow when someone dies. Maybe you go to a funeral or just have a service or maybe you do not do anything but mourn at your own home.
Her are some ceremonies that you can have if you have lost someone that you love:
Crossing Ceremony
In the Zulu culture, they believe that the spirits go to the other side. When they mourn, they do it by wearing only the color black for a year. They go to the grave, and they grieve but they also celebrate their grieving at home. When the year is up, the mourning is finished, and this is their tradition to be able to mourn their losses.
When the year arrives, the crossing ceremony happens, and this means that they do a celebration to celebrate the life that has died and passed on to their comfortable living place. This crossing is there, and their journey is complete, and the living will go back to living a normal life.
They have finished mourning and grieving and they are honoring their loved one in their ceremony.
Angels Carrying Them
When a loved one dies, we wish that we could have said what we wanted to say, and we often feel that we have unfinished business. There are things that we wish that we would have showed them or said to them while they were alive. Some people believe that doing a yearly ceremony for your loved one is important.
Some people will write down things and put them in a jar and others will date things that they feel will release their loved one and then they take them to the river and let them flow. Some people will burn things in remembrance of their loved one and others will set intentions to reach to the loved on in their spiritual state. They can do this by sending it to nature or sending it to the air. They can say prayers or send messages, and this can be comforting to the one that is mourning. Some people will have a hard time with their grieving, especially if they have lost someone fast or the loss was unexpected.
You need to do your own crossing over for your loved one. Find some items that are important to you and that signify your loved one. Create a place and have a ceremony where you can bless your loved one and where you can celebrate them crossing to the other side.
Let the space stay sacred and make it a place where you can talk to your loved one and encourage them and help them to cross over while you can feel that you finished your business with them.
You can do this when you mourn by making a bridge between yourself and your loved one. Set boundaries with your mourning though and come to a point where you learn to live and get over your loss.
Even though losing someone is hard, you have to be able to honor them and then to feel better. You have to be able to live your own life and to move on from your grief. You cannot be stuck in your emotions, and you cannot hold on to the what ifs and what nots. If you had things that you wanted to say, say them now and allow yourself to have love and forgiveness and compassion. Do not hold on to things that are negative and allow yourself to move forward and to live a happy life even after your loss.